time

I felt the last post needed time.

So now, here I am ready to spill my guts and type my life on the web. Life these days is crazy. School has started again for us. We had become very accustomed to sleeping until we felt like getting up. Now we are up and kicking before the sun is fully shining. We have gone from having no plan or intend outcome to our day, to a schedule that is so strict we have but two free hours a day. The weird part is beside the early mornings, we are lovin' havin' somethin' to do. The kids are thriving and accomplishing so much. Not to mention mom :-) I do think we might have to move the washer and dryer in the school room though. . .lol. So what did I learn this summer - well a lot but I am only gonna talk about this - while having no structure seems to be fun (and can be in moderation), it really just causes stress. We have been programmed to live with goals and discipline. It is in these that we can be the best family we can be. Am I forcing my beliefs on you? Am I saying your family needs to plan every minute of their day? No, but you are reading my blog, so take from this what will benefit you and yours.

bitter sweet

I had always heard the term bitter sweet, today I experienced it. Kiss Hugs and a Great Life to baby girl. May God surround her and always be present in her life. When the time comes may she see that Jesus is the only way. May she always be safe warm and loved. Please God never let her experience true hunger or loneliness again. Thank you Jesus for giving us a brief moment to love. Thank you for also letting us know when it was time to let go.

ready for the routine

So we have not been doing school for many weeks now as the kids have been doing various summer activities? As we all lay around this morning watching mind numbing TV I realize - I can't wait for school start. I am ready for the routine. Ready for the organization. Ready to feel like I have control again (lol . . I can dream right). Ready for each moment (or at least more moments) to be productive. Now all I need to do is convince the kids . . .

escape from the madness

Have you ever noticed how sometimes that old calgon commercial just seems to be your motto in life? Today is one of those days. I love my family they are the reason that I do what I do. But sometimes just sometimes I would love to scream in the middle of madness "CALGON TAKE ME AWAY". The key to that is that it would truly happen. That somehow by some magical intervention time would stop long enough for you to regain your self motivation and determination to conquer the world.

washing dishes alone and typing in a crowd

Why is it that your kids can play for hours hidden from view, while you do laundry and clean? The things you could use help with. But the minute I sit down to have just a few minutes to myself, there they are. Like right now as I am trying to type this blog. I have someone reading over my shoulder and filling my ear with yet to be taken adventures they are dreaming about. Don't get me wrong I love to hear from them. My question is why can't they talk while we are washing dishes or folding laundry . . .lol.

it's been awhile

I realize it has a been awhile since I have blogged. One thing I found on the journey to sanity, is never blog when your angry or sad - you may say things you can't type back. So with that said it has been many days since I have felt I had something productive to say.

Today something happened. Today a decision was made for our family. We had been backed into a corner and we were struggling to breath. The walls were caving in quick. Everybody had suggestions and answers and none of them seem right. My wonderful husband finally took a stand and said no more. We have been cornered and pressured too long. We are making this decision with the good of everyone involved in mind. It may not seem that way now. But we are. We have prayed and prayed and prayed. So with a heavy heart, we go forward. Assured that the furture is now and has always been in God's hands.

I am afraid we burned some bridges today, bridges we had no intention of burning. I mourn the lose and regret that those involved can not see through our eyes.

God please grant peace.

broken

Yesterday I realized I had something that was broken. It was broken into a thousand a little pieces. So many pieces that it was impossible to fix alone. I needed help lots of help. Thank goodness I have husband who is willing to help me piece things back together. So slowly but surely we are glueing it back together. But now I have several questions or realizations - this thing will never be the same again - it will now always have cracks and chips that represent the broken state it was once in - and will it every be as stong as it used to be? - does the glue make the item stronger or weaker? - I am afraid to, yet anticipating finding out